I put the scale away. #simplify2013 – life+running

I put the scale away. #simplify2013

simple

Talk about reaching outside my comfort zone — I put my scale in the closet.

I’ve been working on intuitive eating, and though I’ve been making progress, I’ll step on the scale every once in a while and see that I’ve lost or gained .5 lbs. There’s really no purpose in weighing myself right now. I’m not actively trying to lose.

But I want my weight to go down. I think that the weight I’ve been at the last year isn’t my “true” weight. I’ve been stuck dieting the last year / year and a half, and to echo what I mentioned last week, I’ve been listening to everybody else’s tricks and tips on how to eat or work out, when what had worked for me in the past was working. Instead of losing weight, I kept gaining. And it was because I was stuck dieting and getting frustrated, so I’d give up and just eat whatever I had originally wanted in the first place — plus more. I got sick of going to the gym, even though I have always been a gym rat. I was sick of busting my ass to keep gaining weight. I’d never seen that before and I didn’t understand it.

I’ve gained 23 pounds since Mark and I started dating 3.5 years ago. TWENTYTHREE. Almost all of that was gained last year.  Before last year, I would stick between that 23-15 pound less mark consistently year-round without too much effort. I’d run and move my body in ways that I enjoyed, and I paid attention to my hunger cues and what I ate (i.e. if I had a piece of cake already that day, I would eat more nutrient-dense foods later). But the main thing was that I wasn’t obsessed with food — when I’d eat next, what I’d eat, and what treat I was going to have later that day to treat myself because I was always dieting. UGH. No good.

So, I’ve decided the only way for weight loss to not be in my mind is to get rid of the scale — for now. Once I’ve mastered intuitive eating I’d like to bring the scale back so I can weigh once every 1-2 weeks during key times of the year (holidays for sure, and when I’m training for a race or something else). But, I might change my mind and ditch the scale altogether.

This was a tough decision for me. I don’t know when I got a scale. I’ve had one as long as I can remember. I also know that at the height of my disordered eating / eating disorder (mild compared to most eating disorders, and depending on which professional you talk to, I’m one or the other), I did not have a scale. It was all about control.

So, I’m taking that control back. OK — not going to dive into an eating disorder. I mean I’m taking control of myself again and not judging myself on my weight.

I want to be this person again (but older, and wiser):

2007 long hair

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When was the last time you took a big, scary step?

14 Comment

  1. Emily says: Reply

    This reminds me that I keep putting off my reaction to the IE book. (Short story, I loved it but I think it’s too soon for me to put weight loss on the back burner)

    I love that you’re stepping away from the scale. I think it’s going to really give you a lot of perspective and take weight (literally and figuratively) off of you!

    1. chimes says: Reply

      I agree — I think a lot of the principles of IE are working for you now and you’re still thinking about weight loss. Once you’ve gotten to where you feel it would be healthy to put it on the backburner, I hope you do. 🙂

  2. I’m working on not using the scale as much as I used to, too. It’s funny how hard it is! I mean really, why is that darned scale such a big deal? It really shouldn’t be, so I’m taking steps on making it that way. Sounds like you’re off to a great start–put it in the closet!

    1. chimes says: Reply

      YES I agree! I think just putting it out of site for a while does the trick. At least for me anyway. I did that once a long time ago because I was weighing myself a ridiculous amount of times in a day. But yeah. 🙂

  3. we haven’t owned a scale in years. I think you will find it MUCH better! I know it will HELP mentally

    1. chimes says: Reply

      yay! you even didn’t have a scale when you were trying to gain? i guess i haven’t had a time where it was HARD to gain, but I have had times where I needed to gain so I needed to make sure I was hitting weight.

  4. I am not sure how I started following you on Pinterest. I just noticed that you just Pinned a whole bunch of Iowa things. I live in Iowa too! come find me sometime!

    1. chimes says: Reply

      awww cool! Yes I’m in Iowa. Are you related to Ann Greazel by chance? I work with her at ISU. So cool. I don’t know how anybody started following me on Pinterest … it just keeps growing. I use it to bookmark projects. I’m very type-A and used to do pinterest before it existed by printing out project PDFs and putting them in binders. 🙂

  5. Loving this and I am so getting that book over the weekend! 🙂

  6. Congrats girl! I know that’s a big step. My hubby put my scale up at the top of the closet a long time ago, and I felt so much more free after that!!

  7. Oh my gosh, you look so completely different with long hair! Sorry…I’m a little ADHD annnnnnnd that’s the last thing I saw! 😉

    “So I’d give up and just eat whatever I had originally wanted in the first place — plus more” <- I can TOTALLY relate to this…and thinking that I can adopt someone else's eating habits (even if they don't even work for my lifestyle)…AND the comparison trap big time! Pretty sure I already told you on Twitter, or IG, or whatever, that I had to go and delete a lot of people I was following because I was really starting to stress myself out…especially since I haven't been able to workout in like the last MONTH AND A HALF thanks to my stupid knee!

    My last big, scary step? Friday, AFTER my knee surgery. Yeah, that wasn't even the scary part…the scary part was making the decision to start listening to my body and really give intuitive eating an honest shot…and I haven't counted a calorie, measured every ingredient in my meal, or weighed a single fruit or vegetable in over a week. It's been…interesting?

    1. Calee says: Reply

      I’m trying to grow my hair back to that. c’mon hair grow!

      keep it up. it’s so hard and weird at first, but after a while it gets to be easier. i never weighed or measured anything, but i counted and guessed and weighed myself and counted all the calories i burned. no thanks. :/

  8. My life is a big, scary step. In this vein, though, I think the biggest thing I’ve done was finally admit to myself that I was on some scary edge of ED/DE undefinableness that just needed to stop. I’m still working on it…as you said, it isn’t easy, but the scale has actually never been my nemesis. It’s just numbers. Adding, maneuvering, wasting time comparing this snack to that and not thinking about nutrition necessarily–although sure, I love me some veggies–but numbers, numbers, numbers.

    And I guess when I say the scale isn’t my nemesis, that is sort of a lie. I was a chubby girl until my fourth or fifth year of college (hooray for five-year masters programs) and I do have a fear of ‘turning back into’ her. But she was good person. She was me. So would it really be that bad?

    1. chimes says: Reply

      oh man. i wrote a crazy post last week in my super-secret blog about not wanting to be that chubby girl again. i was the fat kid growing up and i don’t want to be that person again.

      totally get the numbers thing. so i think i might have had this all going on well before i had the scale. i didn’t measure or weigh or count calories, but i think i put a lot of emphasis on portions and the amount that i ran (or worked out) in a day (when I was “that girl”).

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