Stop Making Negative Body Judgements — about yourself AND others. – life+running

Stop Making Negative Body Judgements — about yourself AND others.

(Trigger Warning: this post could be triggering to those who have had experience with eating disorders.)

As a rule, I don’t blog twice a day. I’m impressed anybody cares what I have to say once a day, so I don’t bother posting twice.

However, something HOT has come up.

Oh boy. Here she goes …

Nobody has the right to judge anybody else’s body, and, especially, nobody has the right to publicly ridicule anybody for their appearance.

It happens every day. And worse? People who are large and out of shape/too thin/extremely tall with large feet/super short and stubby unhappy with themselves think they have a RIGHT to ridicule the looks of  fit and pretty people who have body confidence.

Women are the biggest culprits. I do it. You do it. We see an extremely overweight person wearing Nike gear and giggle. We see a woman with a large chest and comment on how slutty she is.

Just. Stop.

This is top of mind tonight because I’ve noticed that since my sister has joined Instagram that at least once a day I have a derogatory comment relating to my looks.

The best part? She will say it to my face and not behind my back. I guess at least she’s up front, or something.

And the worst part? I gave in and did it right back to her. I knew she wanted me to. And I did it. I commented on her weight. And I feel like an ass. I probably look like one too.

This was what pushed me over the edge:

cabrewing can holder \\ life plus running

I posted a photo of myself holding my beer can in my bikini top. I’m kind of proud of my ingenuity, actually, considering how drunk I was on this trip.

And this is what I got in return:

Seriously? That is probably the 10th comment like that this week that I’ve had. I don’t care who you are and how well you know somebody — you don’t make comments like this — even in jest, because it leads to body image issues, and you never know what somebody is already struggling against.

I’m embarrassed that this was my response, though I did point out that it was petty:

I didn’t have time to make a fancy graphic or anything, but I wanted to get this out and into the big bad world. People: Stop being mean to each other. It doesn’t get you anywhere. In fact, this negative outlook makes everything continue to get more negative.

And all this negative talk leads to thinking poorly about ourselves. All of a sudden you look in the mirror and all you see are stretch marks, crows feet, cellulite, and a flat chest. Why? Because your mind is in a negative place.

I feel a little better after writing this out, but I still feel like crap for giving in and making fun of my own sister’s appearance. I would never say something like that to a complete stranger, so why the hell would I say it to my own sister?

Food for thought. Be nice.

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Have you overheard or seen any mean judgemental comments about somebody lately? Or have YOU yourself been the culprit? 

[ source for stop sign image ]

 

19 Comment

  1. Calee says: Reply

    Oh man Cal, this just happened to me today! I feel so out of place in my own body right now because I’ve been sick for so long and not able to work out. And EVERY time I eat something lately, a certain person in my office is like, “You eat scones? You eat pizza?” YES I fucking eat scones and pizza, just not every day! I am entitled to treats like everyone else, and I do not need the commentary on everything I put in my mouth.

    Thanks for the blog.

  2. Kelsey says: Reply

    Well said. I’m sorry you’re being bullied about your body. It’s not a competition, and there is no use in making degrading comments about ourselves or others. I’ve been formulating a blog in my head lately about this. I love my body the way it is. My weight fluctuate constantly, so I hardly weigh myself anymore. My focus now is to be healthy, not to fit a certain standard. PS: I didn’t see the beer can the first time I saw the pic. That is genius! 😀

    1. chimes says: Reply

      Yay! It’s not a competition, unless, of course, you’ve entered into a figure competition. For me it’s competing with myself to be the healthiest me I can be!

  3. And this is why I’m not concerned if Babycakes has a sibling… just sayin’. Why is it that we feel we can be the nastiest to the people closest to us?! I love your post. I love your honesty. And again, we see… I love you miss Calee 🙂 And I just finished up prepping your guest post and telling everyone how awesome you are…b/c it’s all true. Will be sharing this link ASAP.

  4. Prepare for f bombs (I’ll keep it PG though)

    Who the eff makes a comment like that? My sisters and I arent close and there has been some sibling rivalry in the past. However they have never once made a comment about my fat ass or when I gained weight because they know it would hurt my feelings and it’s inconsiderate.

    Ugh, this just got me pissed off but a fabulous PSA regardless. Chin your chin up sister…..hopefully while down shots or beer 🙂

    1. chimes says: Reply

      Grrrl, you don’t gotta be pg for me. Let your freak flag fly!

    2. chimes says: Reply

      Also, when I was little my sister would make fun of me cuz I was a fat kid, and then my mom would say, “Don’t make fun of your sister because YOU might be fat someday.” And that happened, but I don’t make fun of her for it (unless she does shit like this … then I get mean on occasion).

      1. OMG I F-ING love you both. 🙂

        1. You can totally say fuck on my blog. It’s cool. I don’t fucking judge. 😉

          1. Tiffany says:

            Fuck yeaaaah!

  5. Emily says: Reply

    I know that you know how I feel about this topic. SERIOUSLY, right? Why can’t we all focus on ourselves. Our own happiness. No one deserves to be bullied, no matter what they weigh/look like/choose to do with their body. Period.

    I love you for posting this and for standing up for everyone that doesn’t feel like they deserve to.

  6. Love this post, love your blog, love your hair and love that you were a genius holding that beer. 🙂
    Happy thoughts!

  7. Doris says: Reply

    Ok, I didn’t notice the beer can either until you pointed it out here (I think I saw this on FB yesterday?…?) Anyhoo, my brothers and I were horrible to each other growing up (I don’t think my sister and I ever did; but the boys and my sister threw it back and forth, too) It still comes out sometimes in a more joking manner, but I agree, even the old sibling slaps meant as jokes or burns sting deep down. You said this SO DAMN well. And if your sis doesn’t read this blog, be sure you send this post to her, and call a truce. You should be supporting each other, right?

    1. chimes says: Reply

      Thank you, sista! She does … you should see her response to me posting this on my facebook wall. It’s kind of ridiculous. And I agree! I try to be supportive, but it’s hard when she’s a giant wall of negativity.

  8. Omigosh my two sisters do this to each other!! One of my sisters is 22 and the other 12…that’s so damaging to a young mind! I don’t freaking get it! They both say they are just messing with each other, but often call each other “ugly” and “stupid.” Not cool. It doesn’t matter if you’re siblings or not…that kind of stuff stays in your brain.

    Good post! Love your honesty!

  9. Thanks for posting this, dude. I mean, sister relationships are SO weird. I feel like there is always this weird underlying competitiveness that I try to push away and not let get to me, especially because I’m the older sister. My little sis and I are really good friends and have a great relationship in general, though, and I can’t EVER imagine her saying something about my body like that. EVER.

    That’s just wrong. From your sister, from your coworker, from a random person on the street. I’m just like, “How do you know what I’m dealing with? Maybe I’m stepping on this scale because I need to GAIN weight? Maybe I have a disease or condition that results in me looking like this? Maybe I LIKE having a flat chest because it means if I’m hiking I can take my bra off when it gets to hot?*”

    *Totally happened two weeks ago.

  10. 1mama1babe says: Reply

    Wow. Oh my gosh. Yes. Much needed to hear on these (low body image outwardly judging) ears of mine. I am guilty of judging a confident beautiful face/body from time to time in my head about how she must be a b#@*& or have bad breath… or webbed toes… I mean anything I can figure in my head to make her seem a little less wonderful and perfect and I know… deep down.. I mean waaay deep down in the darkest coldest part of my goodness… this judgement comes from insecurity of myself. The moments, which sadly have been less than the latter, I think or say something positive about someone else…in my head, outwardly or to them directly, I FEEL REALLY GREAT (in a good way). Its like building myself up when I am postivie about others… DUH! I myself have been a victim for years of my husbands negative comments about my body and how it displeases him if my weight increases. And it does. Seems I am caught in his negative image of my body. I see now, what he sees. Fat. Ugly. Undesirable. It is very painful and even though I cannot stop him from his own ugliness inside turned out on me… I can stop my own. This post has helped me a great deal. Thanks!

    1. chimes says: Reply

      Lovely lady — I hope that you can push through these negative thoughts and know that you are beautiful!

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