Barely. But I looked cute while doing it.
Cabrewing is a yearly camping and canoeing trip that our college friends have been doing for the past 6 years. This is the first year I went. Mark is a 3 year veteran. I say veteran because this trip is intense.
I’m an expert canoe-er. I worked at a canoe rental for 4 summers and went down the Maquoketa river nearly every other weekend during those summers. However, I never attempted to paddle down the river while drinking — and as you can tell by the name of our float, that’s exactly what we were doing.
Here’s what I learned about cabrewing — some of these things I learned AS I was going down the river:
- Somebody has gone to the hospital every year, leading to the t-shirt that I designed for this year’s trip. Nobody went this year, but of all people, *I* was the closest to going (note: as far as I know, and it was not alcohol related — I’ll explain).
- 300 Jell-o shots is not enough for our crowd (there were about 30 of us) — especially when most every sand bar is dubbed “Jell-o Shot Island”.
- A 5-mile float down the river can and will take 8 hours or more.
- It is really hard to get sand out of the toes of Vibrams, or out of any other crevice for that matter.
- No matter how drunk I get, I cannot pee in the water. Not even when another drunk friend is holding my hand and counting to three.
- Bonus: You will likely get a nickname on this trip, especially if you wear ridiculous shorts. Meet bro shorts and jorts (Jorts’s real name is Ben who I actually got most of these photos from since he was smart enough to bring a waterproof camera).
This year’s trip was at Chimney Rock in Cresco, IA . We camped Friday night, floated Saturday, camped Saturday night, and the elite cabrewers floated again on Sunday. Mark and I couldn’t rally a second day so we went home instead.
So how was I the one that almost ended up in the hospital this year? Low blood pressure + sleeping on the ground = half my body fell asleep = I had a massive panic attack and my blood pressure bottomed out. Fortunately our friend’s wife, Megan, is a nurse and was able to figure out how to deal with the situation like a pro. Thus, no hospital trips were taken this year.
Do you have a group of friends (or family) that gets together annually? And do you think you could survive this trip?